The Expendables (2010)

Director: Sylvester Stallone

Writer: Sylvester Stallone

Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Stratham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin

IMDB Page

I was excited about this one. It looked awesome on every level. Lots of action, and tons of famous action stars. I was never a huge fan of Stallone, but Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger  were supposed to be in it, right? I was expecting pure awesome out of this movie, but instead I got.....

Gross

The Expendables, the action movie that was supposed to be a throw back to the action movie glory days of the 1980's. It failed to deliver. Miserably. On almost every front. The film follows a team of over the top badass mercenaries that do mercenary stuff. You know, shoot some stuff, work out, beat up folks on a basketball court, and play darts. That is pretty much how deep how deep the story goes. There's something about a moral change of heart and righting wrongs in there too.

But mostly this

So, on to the characters. Stallone and Jason Stratham are the two lead characters in the film. They head up a group of mercenaries known as the "Expendables". Other cast members include Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews, and "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. All of the acting is incredibly hollow, and a lot of lines just don't sound right. Its hard to understand the motivations of some characters, and others are incredibly simple. Jet Li is the best actor in this film. Not because he out acted the others, its because he only spoke about 3 words in the entire film. There is a hot chick in here somewhere, but then you realize halfway through the movie she kind of looks like a frog and stops being hot. And rumor has it that Jean Claude Van Damme turned down a role in this film, simply because he didn't like the script.

Litmus test: When this man says "no" to your screenplay, consider a re-write

 It seems like a lot of the characters were written in simply to add names to the credits, to trick people into seeing this piece of trash. You know how Willis and Schwarzenegger were supposed to be major stars in this movie?  They appear in one 90 second scene. Willis says "fuck" a couple of times and Schwarzenegger doesn't do much other than chomp on a cigar and smirk awkwardly. That's it. The biggest ripoff in film history. Hey, who's the asshole who wrote this script anyways? 

Oh, right

Everything about the Expendables is way too over the top. I'm a huge fan of action films, and this was just too much for me. Michael Bay could have made a tuned down version of The Expendables. The action is so over the top its almost plain silly. The effects don't help out much either, most of them look like they were taken straight out of a last generation video game. There are some pretty impressive explosions, but that is far from enough to save this movie. 

I don't know of any extras on the DVD, because I refuse to spend another cent on this film. I imagine they are as pointless and stupid as the rest of the movie. And maybe some more of a 65 year old Stallone deciding to take his shirt off. 

Bottom Line: 2/10: One point is because I didn't fall asleep in the theater, the other is because I had enough points on my Regal Cinemas card for a free popcorn. 

    

District 9 (2009)

Directed by: Neil Blomkamp

Starring: Sharlto Copley

Produced by: Peter Jackson

IMDB Page

When this film first appeared in theaters, I ignored it. Not being familiar with any of the lead actors or director, and the fact it was made in South Africa, (Ever heard of a mainstream South African film before?) I didn't think much of it. The first trailer I saw seemed like it was made on a very low, straight to DVD budget. (This was because most of the effects weren't done yet. The second trailer is much better, but I didn't see that one until after I had seen the film.) I few months later, I got a chance to see it in a delayed theater run. And boy, was I wrong.

In its simplest form, the plot of District 9 is very familiar. Aliens come to earth in a giant disc shaped craft, and park right over a major city. Similarities between this film and others end here. The biggest being its location. This time, the aliens aren't visiting New York, LA, or Washington DC. The ship has come to a stop right over Johannesburg South Africa. This provides a very different feel from most alien invasion films right of the bat. And its not an invasion either: The aliens (dubbed "Prawns" by the local inhabitants) are refugees, starving and dying. Their ship was broken down, and merely drifted to its final location.

When we join the film, it has been 20 years since the ship first arrived. The prawns have been moved to a ghetto outside of the city. The alien leadership has died, and all that is left is the lower working caste. Unrest has been brewing between the aliens and the humans, and it is almost at the breaking point. As a result, the South African government contracts with a weapons company, Multi National United, to move the aliens to a tent camp further outside of the city. Our main character, Wikus Van De Merwe, is a recently promoted bureaucrat in charge of the operation. While out in the alien ghetto, Wikus is sprayed in the face by a strange alien chemical. Things begin to change for him, and he ends up on the run from MNU, and has to seek help from the aliens that he was just recently oppressing. On top of being a great action film, it carries some very heavy themes (such as racism and obedience to authority), and does very well with them. The apartheid parallel is so apparent, it almost smacks you in the face. The story is so good, I don't want to ruin any more for you.

The main character, Wikus (played by Sharlto Copley, in his first feature film), is one of the best characters I have seen in recent years. At first, you absolutely hate him. He is cold, callous, and a bit nerdy.  As his struggle becomes apparent throughout the film, he starts to grow on you, and by the end you can almost feel his pain. Add on top of this that almost all of Sharlto's dialogue was completely improvised. He defiantly deserved an Oscar for best actor, but unfortunately was ignored in this category at the Academy Awards. The aliens, while completely CGI and not voiced by any actors,  bring a lot of heart to this picture. They are faintly humanoid, resembling giant bugs. Nonetheless, the emote extremely well. There are a couple of scenes of an prawn and his "son" that are particularly moving. 

District 9 is presented in a very different way. The first half of the film is like a documentary, complete with interviews and news footage. The camera is a bit shaky in these scenes, but not as over the top in some action films. Its what you would expect from a shoulder mounted camera.  Wikus and other characters interact with the "film crew", giving a very realistic feel to some of the scenes. About halfway through, the film transforms to more of a traditional cinematic experience, with an omniscient camera. The transition between these two formats is perfect, even with some cuts between the "real" camera crew and the omniscient one in the same scene. The action is fast paced and brutal. Blood spatters and body parts fly. Its not a film for those with a weak stomach. 

The CGI and effects are simply amazing, even without considering this movie had the third of the budget of a usual si-fi/action film. The CGI prawns and alien technology fit so well with the environment, you sometimes forget they're fake. 

No CGI here......

The environment feels gritty and dirty, and that feeling stays through the whole film. Much of D9 was filmed in an actual South African ghetto, which again helps with the real feeling this movie has.

The Blu-Ray version, besides from being visually stunning, comes with a fair amount of extras to keep a fan entertained. The director's commentary was especially interesting, as it was recorded a day before the films premiere. 

Bottom Line: 10/10: I can't say enough good things about this film. Gripping and dramatic story line, great action, stellar acting, and amazing visual effects. For a first time actor and first time director, they sure made one hell of a film. 

    

The A-Team (2010) Review

As a kid, I always enjoyed watching the A-Team tv show. I wasn't around when it was being produced regularly, but was introduced to it by my father. Now that I have aged a few years, and Netflix streaming has come along, the A-Team has remained one of the shows I'll enjoy on occasion. Its a prime example of 1980s television cheese, which adds another layer of humor on top of the corny characters and stories that often frequented the show.

In mid 2009, I heard the movie adaption of the show was finally green lit. I wasn't really excited about about the news until the cast was announced (more on that later). Needless to say, I saw the film on opening night in the theaters. It sure wasn't the best film out in 2010, but one I enjoyed nonetheless.

The film preserves the basic story line from the tv show, but gives it a very distinct 21st century twist. Four special operations soldiers are framed for a crime they didn't commit, and spend their time trying to avoid being caught by the Army while helping damsels in distress. The film explores the origins of the A-Team, changing out the Vietnam venue for the more recent Iraq war. There is a very well done drawn out opening-credit sequence that shows how the four characters met before their tours in Iraq. The plot moves on from there, showing how the team is framed, and how they go about trying to clear their names. The story manages to be very simplistic and at the same time, very convoluted. Its simplistic in a very pop corn action movie type way: Here are the good guys, and there are the bad guys. The details in the plot are what get confusing. I found myself getting confused about which shady CIA agent/mercenary was which on my first watch through. The plot moves along very quickly, and its pretty easy to get lost if you miss just a couple of minutes.

The characters, and the actors that play them, are really what shine. Hannibal (Liam Neeson, Taken, Schindler's List) is the teams leader, still chomping on his cigar and loving when plans come together. Bosco B.A. Baracus (Quentin "Rampage" Jackson, in his first film role) is the team's fool pitying badass, with an expertise in anything mechanized. Lt. Templeton "Faceman" Peck (Bradley Cooper, The Hangover) is the womanizing con-man. And last, but not least, is Capt. "Howlin' Mad" Murdock (Sharlto Copley, District 9) the team's mentally unstable pilot. Copley steals every scene he is in as Murdock, also providing a great majority of the films laughs. I might be a bit biased, District 9 is one of my absolute favorite films, and Copley's performance in it was simply brilliant. The characters are probably the best thing about this film, without a good cast the film would have fallen flat on its face. For veterans of the TV series, the main characters are easily recognized by their distinct quirks and personalities. The supporting cast is good, but not as stellar as the four main characters. Patrick Wilson (Watchmen) plays the role of the slimy CIA agent Lynch. Brian Bloom, while also the film's co-writer, fills the shoes of the mischievous mercenary Pike, the man who framed the A-Team.  Jessica Beil..

.... Stars as the film's eye candy- erm- I mean Capt. Sosa, the army officer in charge of capturing the A-Team after they escape. While being pleasing to the eye for the entire film, some of her lines come off as a bit awkward. Her scenes with Face (her ex love interest) are excellently done, Beil and Cooper have great chemistry together. 

The film has a very gritty, 21st century action movie feel, complete with the jerky camera shots during action scenes. While this is a minor gripe for me, I know it will annoy the hell out of some. It has a very campy feel, in tune with the series, but there are some intense scenes (more so in the director's cut) The film contains some very impressive, yet over the top set pieces. Its exactly what you'd expect a big budget makeover of the TV series to be. 

Pictured: A flying tank

The CGI in most of the action scenes holds up pretty well, but falters a little in some of the bigger action scenes. None of it looks particularly realistic, it all holds that almost plastic like quality CGI tends to have. This isn't saying it doesn't look good; it looks very good, especially on a big HD screen. 

The Blu-Ray and DVD come witha good amount of extras if you liked the film. Included are some "Making of" documentaries, as well as a featurette on each of the characters and the actors that play them. There is even a couple of easter eggs in the director's cut that those familiar with the TV show will enjoy.

Bottom Line: 8/10: Its a great action flick, not much else. The plot can be a bit hard to follow, but the film is saved by great casting. If you're a fan of the TV show, its a must watch. If you've never seen the show, but like action, its worth a rent.