Prometheus (2012)

Release Date (USA): June 8th, 2012

Directed By: Ridley Scott

Starring: Noomi Rapace, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Logan Marshall-Green

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Prometheus marks director Ridley Scott's return to the universe of the Alien films; the first of which he directed. Prometheus isn't another Alien film, although it shares some plot points, its a very interesting (and at some times disgusting) exploration in to the origins of the Xenomorph we all know and love. Oh yeah, and that origin of human kind thing too.

Prometheus follows the story of archaeologists Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace) and Charlie Holloway (Tom Hardy look-alike Logan Marshal Green) as they search for the origins of human kind. After discovering a similar star chart among numerous ancient cultures, the team is recruited by the Weyland corporation to form an expedition to the stars. Meanwhile, Ancient Aliens guy finds his favorite movie ever.

On board the spacecraft, Prometheus, we meet other members of our crew: Michael Fassbender steals the show as creepy android David, Charlize Theron is a hard line corporate executive, and a handful of other cliched characters that serve very little purpose other than to be killed halfway into the film.

My name is grouchy-guy-with-mohawk. Yes, I die. 

Prometheus does start off at a slower pace. This isn't bad, its done just right. Its just enough to tug you into the story line. Scott's attention to detail is obvious, with almost every beautiful set being planned out to the tiniest detail. The second half of the film is considerably faster, as the action and gruesome on screen deaths speed up. The team discovers some interesting life forms, and things quickly go to hell. Bones are snapped, various bodily fluids are splashed about, faces are melted, and bodies are burnt to a crisp. They say that the original Alien film had a pretty obvious rape subtext, with the whole "man being violently impregnated" plot point. If Alien is about rape, Prometheus is a rape inside a rape, with a side of rape garnished with self administered abortion. 

They came to see Madagascar 3. They didn't know they were in the wrong theater until it was too late. 

The 3D effect in Prometheus is very easy on the eyes. It added depth to the film, but not much else. There was no gimmicky things that flew out of the screen at you.The focus was good and didn't cause any headaches. Its what 3D is supposed to be: an addition to the film that isn't obnoxious or over used. 

Bottom Line: 8/10: Prometheus looses some points due to a bland supporting cast. That, and the last 30 seconds where it is painfully obvious they're setting up for a sequel. Everything else is pure gritty, violent sci-fi goodness. If you go into Prometheus expecting a direct prequel to the Alien films, you may leave a bit disappointed. Prometheus is very much its own film, with a few clever tie ins to its parent franchise. 

Sucker Punch (2011)

Directed by: Zack Snyder

Starring: Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, Jena Malone

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So I have to admit: I'm no fan of Zach Snyder. I didn't really enjoy 300, and I couldn't finish Watchmen. The Dawn of the Dead remake was enjoyable, but not what I'd consider one of my favorites. This, combined with mixed reviews from friends, prevented me from going to see Sucker Punch while it was in theaters. Even after it arrived from Netflix, it say around for a while until I forced myself to watch it. So you've probably gathered this by now: I'm not a huge fan of Snyder's work. But the surprising thing is, while it wasn't what I'd consider a great movie, I found it pretty fun to watch. 

Sucker Punch follows the story of Baby Doll (Emily Browing). Her family is torn apart by the death of her mother. After being framed for the additional death of her sister, she is sent to a mental institute for women. Which turns out to be a brothel... Or something. Anyways, Babydoll and her comrades come up with a plan to escape from their prison. In order to execute their plan, they need to obtain a few objects that will aid them; like a map to find their way out, a key to unlock doors, etc.

This is where suckerpunch turns from a Life Time made for TV movie into a kickass over the top action flick: Each one of these objectives is represented by some crazy fantasy mission. Like a trench battle fighting steampunk nazi-zombie robots. Or a quest to steal a crystal from a firebreathing dragon. You get the idea.

                          Steampunk-nazi-robot-zombies. Also what Zack Snyder calls "subtlety".

Suckerpunch's best feature is probably its dense visuals. The fantasy scenes are always visually beautiful. The battle scenes also kick some serious ass. While there is definitely some very heavy use of CGI in these parts, it doesn't take away from the impact of the scenes. It actually helps with the campy, comic book style of whats going on. I found my self excited for what the next sequence would be, and disappointed when I knew they were all over.

But besides the visuals and stunning action sequences, there are quite a few flaws. The biggest being that the film probably won't appeal to a whole wide range of people. If you're not someone who likes this style of film, you'll most likely end up with a headache before its over.

"We're sorry about your migraine.. Perhaps more explosions will make you feel better?" 

Another flaw that bothers me, the biggest thing that keeps me from really liking Snyder's movies, is that it tries way too damn hard to be cool. It seems that literally every five minutes there is another slow motion montage of the action happening on screen. It feels like the film is just constantly reminding you "Hey. Look over here. See this? Steampunk-nazi-robot-zombies. Yeah. That's cool, huh? Look. You don't understand how freaking cool this is. Look. Look again. Look in slow motion. Isn't this hip? The kids are gonna love me. You old folks? You have no idea, cause you're lame. Guess what else? Freaking dragons. Look. Look at the damn dragon in slow motion. Look. Are you looking? Isn't it cool? Here's some more slow motion." 

If Suckerpunch were a person, it would be one of these guys. 

The acting was also another low point. By no means was it terrible, it just seemed flat compared to the outrageous-ness of all the action going on. Take the main character, Baby doll. She has the same facial expression for what feels like 90% of the movie. 

Zack Snyder calls this "consistency". 

Bottom Line: 6/10: Its a fun, no-brain-needed action flick, not much else. I may just be biased against Snyder, I'll admit that, but I found the same flaws here that I found in his other stuff. Suckerpunch has some pleasing visuals and impressive action sequences. It lacks in the character and story departments. And there is just way too many slow motion sequences. 

Red (2010)

Directed by: Robert Schwentke

Starring: Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, Hellen Mirren, Mary-Louise Parker

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The film industry is lucky  Red came out  shortly after The Expendables. (Read  my review of that train wreck here) If it had not, I might have given up on going to the movies all together. Red managed to redeem the film industry of The Expendables' mistakes, and made me believe in campy-throw-back action movies again.

This is how douchebags say "thank you". 

RED is actually an acronym; Retired, Extremely Dangerous. Bruce Willis stars in the lead role as a retired black-ops CIA super spy. He lives in boredom and mediocrity, with the only joy he gets coming from telephone conversations with a woman who works in a pension office. Rather quickly , his is attacked at home by a band of government thugs. After kicking a few asses and taking a few names, he leaves to find out why the government he worked for is now trying to kill him. Along the way, he pulls a few of his old counterparts out of retirement.

The story isn't horribly original, and it can get pretty confusing, especially in the third act. Red makes up for the weak story line with lots of awesome characters. Of course, Willis is the usual wise cracking badass. Nothing new for him here, but he's good at it. Mary-Louise Parker gets a few good laughs as his reluctant love intrest. Morgan freeman and Helen Mirren are great as another two ex-agents pulled out of retirement.  Karl Urban does very well as the initially cold and calculating government agent sent to stop the REDs, whatever the cost. Out of all of this, my favorite character was played by John Malkovich. He is a mentally disturbed ex-operative, mostly due to the fact that he was fed LSD daily for 11 years when he worked for the CIA.

Seems perfectly stable to me...

Bottom Line: 8/10: Red has its flaws, mostly in the story department. But it sure as hell is fun, with plenty of campy action and fun characters to go around. If you're into action films, don't let this one slip past you. Even if  you thought The Expendables had ruined the gene for you. 

Repo Men (2010)

Starring: Jude Law, Forest Whitaker, Alice Braga

Directed by: Miguel Sapochnik 

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Repo Men is a sci-fi film that has a lot of good ideas. It starts out with a very interesting "what if" question, as many good sci-fi films do. The unfortunate thing is, thats the only thing it does well. Almost everything else about Repo Men is mediocre at best. 

Remy (Law) and Jake (Whitaker) work as repossession officials for a large corporation called The Union in the not too distant future. The only thing is, this company sells insanely expensive artificial organs to the sick and wounded. When people get behind on their payments, the repo men are sent out to recover the organs... In some of the most disturbing ways possible. From here, the story takes some very predictable turns. It manages to pull off one surprising twist, but everything else is cliché. It ends up being very disappointing because there is so many directions they could have gone with this- Instead of going for pure shock when organs are harvested in disgusting ways from innocent people. 

Should have gone with the PPO.....

The acting is another problem here. Its incredibly inconsistent. Sometimes Jude Law does a fair job, other times his lines come of as stilted and hollow. Whitaker just seems out of place in this whole film. Some of the secondary actors are much better than the lead cast, however, there are still no outstanding performances in this film. Some scenes are just pure awkward. One in particular involves lots of semi-nude making out, while the two characters slice each other open to scan their artificial organs. It just reeks of some really odd sexual fantasy.

Tarantino's foot fetish suddenly seems a lot less weird. 

Bottom Line: 4/10: It starts off with a good idea that is marred by bad everything else. The story can hold your attention if you're not too grossed out by the gore. There is a plot twist, which I'm not sure was intelligent or cheap...I'll just say it was interesting. Lots of questions are left unanswered, like why it seems that 80% of the population has needed an organ transplant. Don't go for this one unless you really want to... Unless you're a die hard sci-fi buff, chances are you won't enjoy Repo Men a single bit. 

The Social Network (2010)

Directed by: David Fincher

Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield, Justin Timberlake

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Without a doubt, Facebook has changed the landscape of the internet ever since its debut in 2003. Its even changed what happens when you meet new people, usually you'll hear a "Facebook me" instead of a request for a phone number. Its now become somewhat socially taboo when someone tells you that they don't use Facebook for any variety of reasons. As it turns out, the creation and first few years of the worlds most popular of social network were a rather turbulent affair. It was only a matter of time before Hollywood would manufacture a dramatized version of that story. 

Don't worry, not that dramatized. 

Jesse Eisenberg fills the shoes of the site's creator, Mark Zuckerberg. He's a somewhat awkward college student with a knack for computer programming. After being dumped by a girlfriend, he goes on a drunken blogging rampage about his recent ex. He also creates a simple site, called Facemash, meant to demean female students. The site quickly gathers so much traffic that it crashes the university's computer network. Zuckerburg and a couple friends soon realize how a social networking site could catch on. Along with some (alleged) inspiration from a pair of twins trying to start their own site, Mark and his friends soon create "The Facebook". It becomes wildly popular, and the rest is history. Oh, and Zuckerburg's former friends and business partners file millions of dollars in lawsuits against him for intellectual property infringement and for selling off most of one of the founder's stock. 

The film is presented by cutting back and fourth between disposition for the lawsuits, and pivotal events in Facebook's history, and events relevant to the lawsuit. Its a simple format, but its very well done. The disposition scenes only make up a small percentage, but the film would have felt completely different without them. 

The biggest thing The Social network has going for it is the cast. All of the lead actors are superb. Andrew Garfield plays Eduardo Saverin, one of Mark's early business partners. Justin Timberlake is good as the smarmy Sean Parker, founder of the controversial Napster music sharing site who moved on to Facebook. Jesse Eisenburg's Zuckerberg is definitely an interesting character. At first, the self righteous college student kind of gets on your nerves. By the end of the film, you feel a little better about him, but still can't help but thinking he a bit of a jerk. 

Bottom Line: 8/10: The Social Network is an interesting film about the people who changed social networking forever. The real life versions of these characters have seen the film, and have said that the events and characters were altered a bit. I can't say its 100% accurate as to how Facebook came to be and its struggles along the way, but it sure is entertaining. 

  

MacGruber (2010)

Directed by: Jorma Taccone 

Starring: Will Forte, Kristen Wiig, Ryan Phillippe

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I didn't go into MacGruber with awfully high expectations. It is, after all, a film based off of a Saturday Night Live sketch, and therefore should be graded on a curve. Even with that taken into consideration, MacGruber manages only to be slightly better than terrible. 

Sorry, Pat... You're still in last place. But it was close. 

MacGruber, on its face, is a parody of 1980's TV action shows. Once you start watching, you'll notice the only things it draws from this source material is the main character's looks, and something to name the film. MacGruber (Forte) is an ex secret agent, skilled (so they say) in making weapons out of everyday objects. He is approached by the US government to stop a terrorist, Dieter Von Cunth (Val Kilmer) who has stolen a nuclear weapon. MacGruber is reluctant to take the mission, until he hears that the terrorist behind the plot is the same man who killed his wife years earlier. 

The humor is low brow, and usually consists of copious use of the F-word, and various instances of bathroom humor. Not that I have a problem with bathroom humor or cursing, its just that this film uses them as a substitute for actual humor. I could have pitched this to a group of third graders, and they could have told me I was a dumb ass and come up with something substantially better themselves.  The film managed to make me chuckle only a couple of times. And when it does find a joke that doesn't fall flat on its face, it repeated it multiple times until you are sick of it. Even the jokes that don't work are repeated more than once. 

Guys, guys.. Get this. We'll do the celery up the butt bit, not once -pay attention now- but twice. 

Bottom Line: 3/10:  Most of the jokes aren't funny, the characters can be annoying, and the story is downright dull. Watching Macgruber was only slightly less painful than having a vegetable shoved in your rear.  

Predators (2010)

Directted by: Nimród Antal

Starring: Adrien Brody, Alice Braga, Laurence Fishburne

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I'll be honest, I wasn't expecting a whole lot from Predators. After the disasters that were the two Alien VS Predator films, I didn't think there was much life left in the series. Luckily the creative team behind this film thought the same as I did about the AVP films, and decided to ignore that storyline altogether. They drew most, if not all, of their inspiration from the first film.  Predators is a fun, no-brainer action movie, that gives a slick 2010 feel to the 1987 classic.

We open on our main character, Royce (Brody), as he is in freefall.  His parachute opens and he lands less than gracefully in a jungle. There, he meets up with a few other people who have fallen in the same fashion he has. Most of them are all killers of some kind (save for one doctor): Special forces, mercenaries, mass murderers, and gang hit men. They soon realize that the're not on earth anymore, and that something is hunting them.

One of the best thing that Predators does well is the casting. Adrien Brody is perfect as the impromptu leader of the group trying to survive. Alice Braga does well in her role as the tough Israeli soldier, who reluctantly follows Royce in their attempt to get off the planet. 

However, there are a couple of cast members that don't totally fit in. Laurence Fishburne is Roland, a crazy soldier that has been trapped on the predator planet for years. His acting is great, I was just surprised at how small his part ended up being. It seems as though the character was tacked on just so they could get another big name actor in the credits. Eric Foreman Topher Grace also feels awkward as a seemingly harmless doctor. Its another role that doesn't seem like it has a lot of purpose to it. Intentional for the character or not, Topher just seems out of place in a gritty action film.

"I'll never be typecast all the way out here in the jungle."

Bottom Line: 8/10: Predators is one of those no-thought-required action films. It managed to hold my attention from beginning to end, while capturing the feel of the original 1987 film. Best of all, it pretended like the AVP films never happened.